Technology has certainly advanced quickly, and it serves us well in most instances. One area where technology just seems to do nothing but stir up trouble is when it is used in conjunction with drinking. Some would argue that it is the alcohol that causes all of the problems, but tomato-tomahto, right?
The iPhone is the ultimate gadget when it comes to technology. So if you plan on getting your drink on, make sure to leave your iPhone at home. There are so many ways for that little piece of technology to cause a lot of heartache and trouble for you.
Obviously, the concept applies to any other Smartphone, tablet, iPad or technology that can make calls, take pictures, and connect to the Internet. All of these gadgets have the ability to turn a night on the town into a night of extreme personal mortification.
I Lost My Keys…Where’s My Phone
First off, there is no better way to lose your iPhone than to take it out with you while drinking. If this concept of the drunken search for a lost cell phone has made it into pop music (the pulse of collective partying) then you can be sure that it is almost like a law of nature. In short, cell phones will be lost while out drinking, no matter what.
So, you can leave your iPhone safely at home and party it up without a care, or you can spend the evening keeping tabs on your cell phone. Then, just like gravity will make you fall if you climb something high up while drinking, your iPhone will eventually become hopelessly lost while you’re drinking. Have fun searching the sticky floor for your iPhone while your favorite song plays on the dance floor.
If you leave your cell phone at home, then all you have to worry about is watching your fellow partiers as they search for their lost phones. By all means, watch and laugh at the clever creature that is you!
Drunk Calling and Texting
Another danger that can be avoided if you leave your iPhone at home while you go bar hopping is the train wreck that occurs when the “drunk you” attempts to reach out and touch old flames via smartphone. Yes, we’re talking about the dreaded drunk calling or drunk texting.
It always seems like such a good idea at the time, but your emotions are actually drastically compromised by the alcohol coursing through your veins. Whether you want to leave a sappy “I still luff you so mush” message or one filled with expletives, curses, and threats for your ex, it never turns out the way your drunk brain envisioned it.
Since such drunken use of your iPhone is so obviously disastrous in the light of a sober morning, it is best to just say no to the entire practice. However, your decision-making skills while drinking are about as good as those of a pack of 13 year-old boys. You may not be able to resist the siren call of phoning old flames once you have a few shooters in you.
The best course of action is to avoid temptation altogether by leaving your iPhone at home. It is the same concept as always separating a monkey from its poo. If monkeys don’t have access to their poo, then they can’t throw it. So avoid throwing your poo, and leave your iPhone at home.
Avoiding Incriminating Evidence
Lastly, your iPhone is as close to a spy gadget as civvies can get. Spy equipment is meant for recording secrets, and your iPhone could record all of your secrets for the entire world. Your iPhone can record pictures, video, and sounds. It can also post all of that on the Internet in a New York minute.
If you are like most people, then you don’t put your best face forward when you are inebriated. If you bring your iPhone with you while you are out drinking, then you greatly increase the chances that you will record yourself doing something stupid, embarrassing, or criminal – or all three – and then post it somewhere on the Internet for all the world to see.
Do you really want your drunken hijinks to be the next video to go viral over the Internet? How about your drunken karaoke homage to “These Boots Were Made for Walking,” complete with a dance routine? Every misstep, every fall, every wardrobe malfunction, and every fumble you make in your drunken state could be posted online.
Once something is posted to the Internet, it can never be undone. Make sure that your iPhone never causes you to want to stay in bed for the rest of your life because you used it to record the most embarrassing experience of your life! They say everyone gets 15 minutes of fame; make sure that yours is not 15 minutes of shame.