Some men fantasize about being famous football players. Others are still trying to make it with a garage band despite the fact the entire group is nothing but old, fat, sweaty guys whose only musical accomplishment is making Bob Dylan sound good. But all of us, at one time or another, have fantasized about being James Bond. That’s why a flask gift set for men makes the perfect item to put under the Christmas tree this year.
If you have to ask who James Bond is, perhaps the man in your life is not worthy of such a tremendous gift. We mean, are you serious? One of the best movie scenes of all time comes from the 1969 classic “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” with George Lazenby as Bond. No one but Bond could simultaneously enjoy a quick shot while apologizing to the Queen at the same time. Nobody.
The Flask Set Carrying Case
If you’re going to shop for a flask gift set for your man pay special attention to the carrying case. Just remember this: The only purpose for the carrying case in 2012 is to get the flask from the trunk of his car onto the airplane without anyone asking questions. If it’s too fancy, those nosy little creatures from TSA are bound to be sticking their little fingers where they don’t belong.
As for the man in your life, that flask is going right into his breast pocket, under his hat, or strapped neatly to his calf; opposite the replica Walther PPK he swiped from your son’s air soft collection. He has no need for an over-the-top carrying case. It just makes it harder to get to the good stuff.
A good rule of thumb for the carrying case is that it should be just big enough for a sizable flask, a funnel that won’t disintegrate after the first use, and at least two stainless steel shot cups. These enable him to share his tasty beverage with his favorite Bond lady; who, of course, would be you.
Stay Away from Plaid
Plaid fabrics have only one good use: Never mind, there is no good use for plaid. Now that the 70s are gone, plaid only reminds men of bagpipe players and golfers whose fashion sense is severely lacking. The point is, a plaid flask cover is a bad idea unless your man is a member of a Scottish band and living in the Highlands.
For flask covers, stick with things like leather, faux anything made with plastic, and stuff from Jack Daniels. Every guy loves the old “JD,” if you know what we mean. Wink, wink.
If you can find a flask with his favorite team’s logo, that’s also a plus. Unless of course, he’s a fan of the Buffalo Bills or the Pittsburgh Pirates, in which case alcohol might not be a wise choice for him.
Think about His Ego
Another helpful shopping tip is to think about boosting your man’s ego. Why? Because the male of the species is highly competitive, to the point of comparing just about everything. If men are willing to lie about the fish that got away, measure their masculinity by the size of their car engines, and take pride in how loud they can pass gas (from either end), you can be sure they’ll be comparing flasks out in the garage.
Purchase your man a flask he can be proud of. If he’s the hunter/gatherer type, a flask that clips to his belt and includes the optional 1001 Swiss Everything will let him own bragging rights at least through the end of the camping trip. If he’s an Apple fanatic, a flask with the appropriate logo will not only make him seem cool to his friends, but also keep him company while he stands in line waiting for the latest iTech.
In other words, buy him a flask set that will stroke his ego while at the same time making him a little tipsy. That’s the best way to get a few extra bucks out of his pocket in time for the sales the day after Christmas. Actually, I’m just kidding. He won’t have any money left in his pocket on Christmas Day.
The Non-Traditional Route
We realize not all men have this pent-up James Bond fantasy just waiting to get out. There are some guys who are more NASCAR and Dukes of Hazard-ish, if you know what we mean. For them, a less traditional flask might be in order.
Perhaps a flask hidden inside a spare golf club would be good; or a tackle box with a flask built in the top cover is more his speed. Or, if he’s way out in left field, he might enjoy a metro-sexual flask that fits nicely with his European man bag and matching shirt that he refuses to tuck into his metro-sexual pants that are too tight!
Anyway, at the end of the day, no one knows your man quite as well as you do. If you’re planning to buy him a flask gift set, just make sure it matches his personality. Enough said.