‘Tis the season to begin thinking about the season of gift giving, which shall soon be upon us. For that special female person in your life, the one who drives you to assuming a fetal position and crying “mother” for lack of gift ideas, we might suggest a flask gift set. Nothing shows your love more than a portable alcohol receptacle.
Before you run off thinking this is the best gift-giving idea ever, temper your enthusiasm with the fact that we are men. And as men, we are aware that no gift idea is ever a sure thing; especially when it comes to women and booze. But, assuming your lady can hold her liquor, it’s safe to get her a flask that can hold it too. Below are some suggestions you might find helpful.
Don’t Forget Her Shoes
Something tells us that a lady who would be amenable to a flask gift set is probably the same type of woman whose walk-in closet slightly resembles the visitor gallery at Florsheim & Co. in beautiful downtown Glendale, Wisconsin. In case you don’t know, Florsheim & Co. is one of the world’s most famous shoemakers, started in 1892 by a man named Milton. And no, he’s not related to Bradley.
We say this to warn you that any flask gift set, as feminine and decorative as it might be, must match at least one pair of shoes your lovely lady wears on a regular basis. And if it’s a really nice gift set with lots of woman-like features, it would help to choose one of her favorite pairs of shoes. Perhaps the red pumps you gave her last Christmas in a vain attempt to match them with her green dress. Can anyone say “elves?”
By the way, slippers are out of the question; even the fuzzy ones with the slightly discolored pink elephant heads. It’s been said that if you’re drinking in your pajamas you should think about putting on some nice clothes before you go clubbing.
You Must Accessorize
Next, choosing a flask gift set for women requires familiarity with one of the most important words in the female dictionary: accessorize. Yes, indeed, we both know that many a good Saturday night has been spent wandering around one store after another looking for that perfect set of earrings, or that scarf that can function as a head covering, neck accoutrement or fashionable belt.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking the woman in your life will be content with a simple stainless steel container to hold that adult beverage she keeps telling people is just water. She’ll need at least half a dozen interchangeable covers, a fashionable purse attachment, and a carrying case that matches her purse without being overly ostentatious.
If you need help discerning the proper accessories, let us refer you to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, which describes “accessories” as something along the lines of a nonessential object that adds beauty to something else. For example, some men might consider a woman’s flask set to be a wife accessory. Likewise, an attractive carrying case is a flask accessory.
Accentuate with Cubic Zirconia
As men, we are very welcoming to cold, impersonal, stainless steel. If we could construct an entire house (including appliances and furniture) in stainless steel, it would give new meaning to the word Nirvana. Our wives, on the other hand, are the more decorative ones. For her, cubic zirconia is just as cold and impersonal. But it makes her look like we have some money.
We saw a lovely flask set for ladies that included the flask along with a very attractive coin purse and pen. All were studded with a generous supply of cubic zirconia, which was fine for the flask, but which leaves me mystified as to how a woman could actually grip the coin purse or pen well enough to actually use them. But again, the point here is to make her look rich, not worry about function.
Not Too Pretty
Finally, our last tip for choosing a flask gift set for a women is to make sure you don’t make it too pretty. Why? Because she’ll undoubtedly want to take it with her to that New Year’s Eve party so she can show it off to her friends. That’s not necessarily a bad thing until you get so irritated by that loudmouth coworker named Albert that you reach for the flask for a quick, stiff shot.
In that one brief moment you could lose all evidence of your masculinity should Albert see you drinking from a lovely, diminutive flask studded with cubic zirconia and the phrase “I’m no lady when I drink!” in bold pink lettering. Come Monday morning, you’ll be the talk of the office for sure.
A flask set makes a wonderful gift for just about anyone who enjoys the finer things in life. Be sure to both shop and drink responsibly.