The Greatest Alcohol Spokesmen

SpokesmanWe’re sure you’ll agree that there are lots of good things to talk about when it comes to alcohol. For example, who is the greatest alcohol spokesman ever? That topic has been at the center of more than one heated argument taking place over a pitcher of beer or a round of shots.

In the following paragraphs we’ll discuss some of the most popular and well-known alcohol spokesmen. However, for the sake of fairness and gender/species equality, we’ve selected a variety of spokespersons from both sexes and several different animal groups. Enjoy!

Spuds MacKenzie

Perhaps the most prolific advertising animal on TV would be the one and only Spuds MacKenzie of Bud Light fame. The world’s most famous bull terrier first showed up on television during Super Bowl XXI in 1987. For the next six years he would be the face of Bud Light.

Even though Spuds MacKenzie died in 1993, his legend lives on. People still buy merchandise with the dog’s famous face; merchandise that is now highly collectible. For those of us who love social media, Spuds even has his own Facebook page!  Now, there’s something to like.

The Budweiser Frogs

I know; we’ve already talked about a spokesman animal from Budweiser. But how can we talk about the greatest of the booze spokespersons without mentioning the Budweiser frogs? These three guys―appropriately named Bud, Weis, and Er―were masters at getting inside our heads and staying there. C’mon, admit it: There were plenty of nights you couldn’t fall asleep because the frogs were croaking in your subconscious!

By the way, as long as we’re talking about the Budweiser Frogs, we also have to mention their arch-rivals: Louie, Frankie, and the ferret. Louis and Frankie were two lizards with Brooklyn accents being driven insane by the incessant noise being made by our three frog heroes, in much the same way you get annoyed listening to your neighbor sing “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” all night long.

In order to restore peace and quiet, Louie and Frankie hire a neighborhood ferret to whack the three frogs. Unfortunately, the ferret has the IQ of a small soap dish and a personality to match. You probably know the rest of the story.

The Coors Twins

Budweiser may have had dogs, frogs, and lizards, but Coors Light had the famous Coors Twins, Diane and Elaine Klimaszewski. Coors was taking a chance on the ad campaign when it began in 2002, in an environment in which using stereotypical female models was considered by feminists as misogynistic.

Speaking of misogyny, do you remember the Swedish Bikini Team from old Milwaukee in the 1990s? Enough said. Back to the Coors Twins.

Despite complaints, Coors ran with the ad campaign knowing their target audience very well: Men who believe every time a woman looks in their direction she’s flirting with them. Just give the Coors Twins the right clothing and a properly directed glance, and you’ll sell a truckload of beer.

Though the ad campaign only lasted a couple of years, the Klimaszewskis are still very popular. So popular, in fact, that they were recently enshrined with a bronze statue at the Minnesota Twins’ new home, known as Target Field. Take that, you critics.

Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull

The Schlitz Malt Liquor bull makes our list based solely on the intimidation factor. When you see that bull staring you in the face, you get the “buy it or else” feeling experienced by so many store owners in 1920s Chicago. Need we say more?

Labatt Blue Bear

Why is it that all the good alcohol spokespersons are actually animals? No one knows. But anyway, among Canadian beer drinkers there’s no better spokesman than the iconic Labatt Blue Bear. This sarcastic bear with a naughty side was introduced to Canadian beer drinkers somewhere around 2001. When the company ran into financial trouble, the ad campaign was suspended.

Now that Labatt is under new ownership, the Blue Bear is back in circulation. We first saw him this past February in a TV spot showing him trying to make it across the Canadian-American border without a proper passport. That’s not a problem for the smooth-talking bear, as he manages to make nice-nice with a female border crossing agent. You’ve got to love a guy with the confidence to believe a six-pack and the right attitude will get him anywhere.

Captain Morgan

For our money, the all-time best alcohol spokesman is the legendary Captain Morgan. If you love the combination of pirates and rum―and who doesn’t―the good Captain is everything the modern American male wants to be. He doesn’t sit in a cubicle all day, staring at a computer screen and fantasizing about the Swedish Bikini Team.

No, Captain Morgan gets what he wants by striking a very manly pose and enlisting the help of his drinking buddies to convince his female significant other that he’s behaving himself. We’re willing to bet that Captain Morgan and Captain Jack Sparrow would be great friends if they ever met. The pirates of the Caribbean would never be the same!

Alas, we come to the end of our list. But trust us when we say there are plenty of other worthy candidates out there. Alcohol producers have some of the greatest spokesmen around because they have a product that invites laughter and good times. To that end we say, “bottoms up!”